The Cowboy's Secret Baby Read online

  Gently, he turned her to face him, but she couldn’t meet his eyes. How could she tell him she’d given away their baby? This was awful, worse than her worst day in Olivia’s shop trying to do her job.

  “I want us to do the right thing,” he rushed on. “Once the baby comes—”

  “So, you’re ready to be a father.” Becca shifted a basket of melons, then to her dismay saw her own father walking toward them. What if he said something about the adoption? “You’d better go,” she said. “My dad’s coming, and his eyes are like flamethrowers.”

  Calvin didn’t budge. “I’m not afraid of him.”

  A second later, her father was standing toe to toe with Calvin, nudging Becca aside. “Leave her alone. I won’t let you hurt my little girl again.”

  “She’s not your little girl,” Calvin said calmly. “Becca’s a woman. She can make her own choice, and I’m hoping she’ll choose me.”

  Her mouth fell open. As he’d said, Calvin had never been the sort to talk about his feelings. She’d told him she loved him, but he’d never said as much to her. “Please, Dad. Calvin and I need to talk.”

  Her father stared at the ground, his hands fisted at his sides. “This guy is nothing but a hired hand. Here today, probably gone tomorrow.” He’d voiced Becca’s own misgivings. Calvin was here now, but he might leave her again once he knew what she’d done. “That’s no future for you, living hand to mouth, having his babies every year.”

  Calvin’s mouth tightened. “This baby’s mine, and I’ll care for it. With Becca.” He glanced at her dad’s fists. “Hit me if it’ll make you feel better.”

  Her dad didn’t move. He focused on Becca. “You’ve spent the past few weeks pining over this guy. Did you hear one word from him that might set your mind at ease in all that time? No,” he said, “it was me who had to see your tears, take you to Doc’s, and what about the adop—”

  Becca squared her shoulders. “Daddy, don’t worry about me.”

  Her father’s fists fell open. For a long moment he eyed Calvin, and she feared her dad might still land a punch. Instead, as if beaten, he put space between himself and Calvin.

  She kissed her dad’s cheek. “We’ll be okay.”

  She wasn’t sure and that didn’t help her dad, who, like Becca, still mourned the loss of her mother, but he needed to find his own way again too. No matter how much she loved and wanted to please him, Becca couldn’t do that for him. Just as he couldn’t protect her from whatever life handed out. It was Calvin who could help her to heal.

  After her father walked away, she rearranged some jars of golden honey until his hand covered hers. “I wish you’d gotten time beforehand to say your piece, Becca. I don’t know where I stand with you—”

  She didn’t hesitate. “I love you, Calvin.” She hoped that was enough.

  He smiled into her eyes. “I love you too. I couldn’t admit that—until Dallas made me see I’d decided wrong. I’ll tell you about that later. I didn’t come back until last night and earlier I couldn’t find you. Clara finally said you were over here, and by then it was my turn to ride bulls. I came as soon as I could.” Applause still sounded from the arena.

  “I would have rooted for you, only I’ve been in this tent.” Calvin told her he’d come in fourth in the bull riding, yet right now she needed him to believe in them, in her. “I’m glad you won a ribbon, but if you hadn’t, you’d still be my hero.” As she looped her arms around his neck, her own worry must have shown in her eyes.

  What would he say when she told him about the baby?

  “Give your dad time,” Calvin said, though that wasn’t what worried her now. “Let’s go ahead and find a place to live. I think leaving that house where you grew up will be the best decision. You weren’t happy with the rental we saw, but there’ll be another.”

  “I do like that little house and the yard,” she said just as someone called her name.

  Becca froze. She should have expected this. Everyone in town had come for the rodeo today. It seemed only natural that Jenna Smith would be among them. She lived here at the McMann ranch. Becca turned, a lump in her throat.

  Jenna stood there with Hadley, holding hands. “I just had to tell you, Becca. After I saw you last time following your doctor’s appointment,” she said, “I sorted through Luke’s and Grace’s things from when they were smaller—newborn outfits and toys, and their bassinet is still in Clara’s attic.” The words had tumbled out of her.

  “Jenna—”

  Her face glowed. “We can go over the legal stuff later, and we’ll certainly cover all charges for prenatal care, delivery. When you’re ready to go home, we’ll make the exchange as easy as possible for you. We’re so happy you decided to let us have your baby.”

  Her pretty speech, like the one she’d given on the street before, went through Becca like an arrow. But she and Jenna weren’t alone now. Calvin was here, staring at her too. He’d heard every word.

  Jenna’s excitement had blinded her to anyone else, and she seemed to notice Calvin for the first time. She tightened her grasp on Hadley’s hand. “Calvin. I knew you had come back, but I didn’t realize you were in this picture again.”

  “Well, I am,” he said, searching Becca’s face with an expression that practically shouted, What’s going on? What have you done?

  Hadley was frowning too, as if he knew Becca was about to destroy their hopes.

  She wouldn’t have Elizabeth’s counsel now. Becca had to handle this herself.

  She swallowed. “I know I promised, Jenna. I wasn’t lying then...”

  “Please.” Jenna darted a look at Clara McMann, who was hurrying across the yard, her skirts flying as she tried to catch the twins before they reached the open gate to the arena, where the last of the prizes were being handed out. “Please don’t.”

  The bleachers had started to empty as some of the townsfolk headed toward the food tables, and the scents of barbecue and hot dogs permeated the air. The growing look of confusion, then sorrow on Jenna’s face demanded an explanation. And still, Becca remained motionless, not hearing the final announcements from the arena, the applause—Dusty Malone had come forward in his wheelchair to receive the donation check for him and his family—or seeing the cloudless blue sky.

  But she had to think of Calvin. He and Becca were their baby’s parents. She wanted more than anything for them to be a family.

  “I’m so sorry, Jenna, Hadley. But Calvin and I are going to keep our baby.”

  * * *

  DALLAS STRODE ACROSS the ranch yard in search of Lizzie, his progress hampered by people who offered congratulations for his win. Even the guys he’d competed against on the circuit seemed happy for him. “Glad you’re back, Dallas.” For those few seconds in the ring, he’d proven he was still on his game, and leftover adrenaline coursed through his veins. With another feeling he couldn’t quite name. He could go back to the circuit now, and one of his first calls would be to Ace. His problem was what to say to Lizzie. What to do about them.

  Lost in thought, he almost walked right past his brother. They hadn’t exchanged an unnecessary word since he’d learned about Lizzie’s pregnancy. Since Serenity, they’d been keeping out of each other’s way. Hadley put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, that was some ride.”

  “Thanks. You didn’t do so bad yourself.”

  Hadley scanned the area, obviously distracted. “I need to find Jenna. We’ve just had a nasty blow and she headed for the food tents, probably to have a good cry.” He told Dallas about the baby—Becca’s child—they’d hoped to adopt.

  “I’m sorry, man.” Dallas didn’t know what else to say.

  Hadley rubbed his neck. “Yeah, well, Becca’s choice. We’ll be all right. Now that I see Jenna’s point about a brother or sister for the twins, we’ll work something out.” He eyed Dallas for a moment. “You off to the road again? Or is ther
e some way I can get you to stay here?”

  “I’m not sure what to do yet.” It wasn’t the first time Hadley had asked, but those surprising words of acceptance from his brother gave Dallas courage. He’d hated feeling estranged again. “Look. I’m sorry I disappointed you, but I want you to know I’m going to do what’s right by Lizzie.”

  “Okay,” Hadley said, taking another look around. “I figured you would. I need to apologize for telling you about her pregnancy. That was a rough way to find out and a mistake on my part.”

  Dallas stared at him for a moment, trying to find the other words that had lived in his heart for so long. “There’s something else, Hadley. For over twenty years I thought I’d overcome any damage from that last foster place we shared. But Millie—Mom—says I’m still that scared little kid. She should have said a guilty kid. Because I failed you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He lowered his gaze. “It was my fault you got caught after stealing that food.”

  “While you were locked up in that room? How could that be? I told you last Christmas you should have blamed me for not protecting you.”

  Dallas shook his head. “You went to that store because I couldn’t stop crying. Screaming, actually.” Which shamed him to this day. His cries had echoed off those walls.

  “Didn’t I tell you before?” Hadley asked. “You were my responsibility, Dallas. You were only eight years old.” Lizzie had pointed that out too.

  He barely heard. “And after they sent you away, what happened? The Maguires adopted me,” Dallas admitted, “like I was getting some reward for what I’d done when that should have been you.” Those words had been trapped inside him for a long time, as if he were still locked in that room. “I didn’t... I don’t deserve their love.”

  “Wait a minute. You really think a few tears caused all that? You’re wrong.” He hooked an arm around Dallas’s neck. “You idiot.” And he ruffled Dallas’s hair, the way he always had. “Forget all that other stuff. To the Maguires you’re their son, and you’re okay with me too...for a kid brother. I love you, Dallas.”

  His vision blurred. Hadley had never been one to admit emotion. “I love you too.”

  “Are we square now, then?”

  “We are,” he said. The uneasiness that Dallas had felt since his return last Christmas—that he’d felt inside forever, really—had finally faded. From here on, he and Hadley would be as close again as they once had been.

  Their shoulders brushing, they walked to the food tents that had held the domestic competitions, then his big brother went to look for Jenna. As Dallas walked between the tables, now mostly empty, he finally spied Lizzie bagging up some brownies. He brushed dust from his jeans then snatched one off the table. “Energy bar,” he said, catching her eye. “You done here?”

  “Almost.” Automatically, she glanced around to check on her children. In the nearest field, Seth was playing tag with some other boys. Sprawled on a blanket, Jordan and Nick Hunter, his best pal, were deep in conversation over a video game. Stella was helping Clara sort through a bunch of purple flowers for any still-fresh blossoms, which he heard Clara say would be donated to the local assisted-living home. In the west, the sun was sinking toward the horizon, spreading pink and red and orange across the big Kansas sky.

  Following Lizzie’s gaze toward her kids, he murmured, “Mother hen.”

  “That’s my brood.” As she’d once said, from six to nine they were similar ages to Dallas and Hadley when they’d lived in foster homes. Though Lizzie’s kids enjoyed superior care and love, even from Harry, they were vulnerable too, and Dallas needed to keep in mind the little kid he’d been years ago when Hadley took care of him. Such good care.

  He reached for her hand. “Let’s find a quiet spot, okay?”

  Dallas headed outside for a line of cottonwood trees, a screen that hid the pasture from the house. That had been Clara’s idea; she claimed she saw enough cows all day, didn’t want them to take over her view at sunset. Which was probably baloney. She loved this ranch as much as Hadley did. His brother and Jenna, their heads close together in conversation, were strolling now in the direction of their house. Thank you, Hadley, for always being here.

  In the cool shade, Dallas sat with Lizzie under a tree. She seemed pensive as they discussed today’s events. Dallas had won the bull riding, but something didn’t feel right about his win. “I couldn’t have done this without you,” he said.

  “Our rodeo was a huge success. We made a ton of money for Dusty’s medical expenses. I’m glad he’s finally out of the hospital and will finish recovering at home. I’m so proud of you—first place, Dallas!” She didn’t say anything else for a moment, then, “In fact, I’m proud of myself too. I talked to my mother.” She explained her own declaration of independence. “I told her about the baby.” Lizzie grinned. “Frankly, I think it was kind of a gotcha moment, but well worth that look on her face.”

  Dallas stared at her. “What did she say?”

  Elizabeth said lightly, “Oh, she’s not happy with me, but you know what? She’ll get over it.” Or not. That was her choice.

  “No wonder I saw her roving around the tables over there with an extra-mad look on her face.” He squeezed Elizabeth’s hand. “Good for you, but I wish you’d waited till I could be there when you told her about the baby. You’re not worried about what people will say?”

  “Let them talk. If bringing our baby into this world is another scandal, people really need to get a life for themselves.” His opinion too. “Where are your folks?” she asked.

  “I sent them to my house. Mom had a blast today, and her meds are working, but she should rest. Jack’s sending their dinner over.” Dallas studied her face. Twice now, she’d said our, and he traced a line with his thumb across her palm. “Lizzie. I’m not much good at this kind of thing but—I shouldn’t have said you care more for your reputation than you do for your kids.”

  “If I need to defend them from now on, I will, but they’ll be fine, Dallas.” Her smile turned wistful. “The kids and me. When I was married to Harry, he was often so absent from our lives, I was practically a single mom anyway. I hope now that he’ll be working in Wichita, he’ll spend better quality time with them here.” She paused. “You shouldn’t worry about us.”

  Dallas’s stomach clenched. He was the absent type too. Was she about to reject him? She didn’t need him to protect her, yet he wanted to be there for her anyway. What was it Hadley had said? Is there some way I can get you to stay? Dallas ran his thumb lightly over her palm again. Lizzie seemed newly centered in her life, but he was not. And his win today didn’t seem like enough. That was what had felt wrong.

  His mother was right again, as she usually was. Dallas had been wasting time on the road, in hotels, even in the arena. Of course, he hadn’t known Lizzie then. “You know, I’ve worked real hard riding bulls, and a championship would be nice—”

  “Is that what you call it? Nice? Dallas, that’s been your goal for years.”

  “And to take care of my parents,” he agreed, “but do I really want to spend my years piling up endorsements? Sponsors? Healing from broken bones and bruises? Sweating my brains out in rehab? Is that what I want—what I need most—after all?” From the instant he’d landed today after the eight-second buzzer, he’d felt uncertain, unsettled when everything should have been a green light. Get back on the circuit, work even harder next season. Dallas answered his own question. “No, it’s not.”

  Lizzie seemed speechless. Then she said, “You’re—You can’t quit.”

  “Why not? Sure, today was fun and I’m glad you saw me ride, sort of, but you were right too. My life on the road is no life for a woman with three kids—” he glanced at her stomach “—and a fourth on the way.”

  “You couldn’t be more wrong. Why give up what you love when you’re this far—” she held up two finge
rs an inch apart “—from that championship? Where’s your grit, Dallas?

  “If I can hold my head up in this town,” she said, “even if a single person never speaks to me again—which I doubt because I do have friends, enough loyal ones to counter the rest—you can go back on the road until you reach that goal. And keep winning to care for your parents’ needs.”

  “But is that all I’ve been trying to do? Busting my backside riding bulls to win the money I thought they’d need? Maybe I’ve had this all wrong. When I met Millie and Joe, I was this skinny kid who’d never had a real home, and I always felt guilty that Hadley didn’t have the same chances I did.”

  Yet his brother had found happiness with Jenna and the twins. It was too bad they couldn’t have another child, but that wouldn’t destroy what they already had. As he’d said, they’d work that out. Dallas tried to explain. “Maybe I saw rodeo as a way not only to help my parents, to repay them for what they’ve done for me, but to prove I’m worthy of the love they’ve given me all these years. Like I had to earn that too.”

  “But you don’t, Dallas. Just as I don’t need to prove anything to my mother. The Maguires’ love for you is unconditional. You’ve always had that.” She said, “Your parents won’t care what you decide as long as that’s the right choice for you.”

  He took a long, deep breath. She was right, but the next words weren’t easy to say. “Maybe because of all those hard years in temporary places... I believed I didn’t deserve anyone’s love.”

  “Oh, Dallas.” Her eyes had filled.

  “I don’t want to mess this up either, but my parents—and you, definitely you—are more important to me than any career.” Who had he thought he was kidding? He hadn’t been falling for Lizzie. He was already in love with her. “You and I said things we shouldn’t, but people who care about each other have such power, they end up hurting that person they love most.”

  Her voice trembled. “Is that your way of saying...you love me?”